I got married to my husband 2 weeks after I met him by the ending of 2009. the I was going to 25 years but by February I will be 29 (blame me cause I was wrong, I didn’t pray over him, I was running away from my ex whom I was too much emotionally attached to in love but have to find out very late that he has started paying for his wife even before we started dating and want to break the marriage and marry me, which I rejected when I found out, each time I leave him, I still find myself back to him, I couldn't cut the relationship until I met my hubby, physically he is every woman's dream and gentle too). I was Indeed attracted to his gentle nature and thought Its how he is all around, well, he proposed straight and I said yes cause I wanted something that will take my feelings away from my ex (stupid of me). then I got into the worst marriage I ever dreamt of, daily beatings even when I was pregnant (I mean enough beating), dragged down the stairs, being naked In public, accused and singing In the choir because It doesn't match his personality, Infidelity. abandoned, excommunicated from family members, being called names, when I catches him with woman, he will beat me to stupor, I almost stabbed him to death one day in self defence because he was choking me to death, I ran away many times but still come back cause I never want to divorce, he never tell people that he's married mostly people in Nigeria and you will never see me in his profile and he never updated his marital status to married. except the people who knows us, I've seen him tell many people in chatting that I'm just a girl who got pregnant and have a child for him, that he is looking for a wife to marry. He has up to 2 fiancées in Nigeria. He said I'm stubborn, promiscuous, many names which I can't mention my dear ADMs. I have tried to fit in to the kind of wife he wants but he still complains, I have no single trust in him and he said he doesn't trust me because I told him about my ex. He took all the love I have for him away even while living with him but I was still there because of my son. Its obvious we are not compatible, he misunderstands me in many things even when I try to crack jokes so we could laugh, it ends up bringing problems, I have no right to make a suggestion or express my feelings to my hubby.
Now he decided to travel out for a greener pastures, I bluntly refused because I was not sure of his coming back although part of me wanted him to go cause I was tired of him, but after much refusal I gave in cause he was beginning to see me as enemy of his journey, It was a mixed feeling for me.
Well, just few months to his journey, I receive a message from his white lady to know if I'm his wife, but I didn’t answer. I asked my hubby what to tell her but he said I should denounce him before the white lady which I refused but then, we are quarrelling everyday, on phone, If I go to market, he will say THEY told him that they saw me somewhere, from one accusation to another, even in his absence I have no peace, he paints my name black before his parents and disvalue me before his brothers. He accuses of different men while he is in overseas oohh, this person told him or that person saw me, I had no peace, everyday I was crying, then he started making money and then It got worst, on January 1st 2013 I took my son to amusement park, he called us and we told him where we are, he got angry and started abusing me on phone that its late, I told him to calm down that I'm In a public place and I'm getting annoyed by the names he's calling me but no way, then I cut the phone, then he call back and started raining abuses on me and at the end of the call, he said that d marriage Is over, (well, I'm use to the marriage being over everyday so I didn’t take him serious) but this time he meant It. We went into 3 dry fasting for the new year, I was bitter and praying to God, I begged him to forgive me but he refused and Instead laying curses on me and my future. I text him so many times to forgive me but no way. I called his parents and his parents pleaded with him but he threaten to cut providing for his parents If they force him to come back to me but the parents Insist, he cut his brother from talking to him because they told him he was wrong. I have extra fasted and prayed but nothing. 2 months later he was openly engaged to a girl from his village who Is a doctor over there. he said he will come back and collect his Bride price, and will send his lawyers to do the divorce for him, (we only wedded In court and he paid the dowry fully before I lived with him so no church wedding). ADMs, I no God hate divorce but I'm fade up with this man, I don't ever want to go back to him, I want to start all over again, I want to divorce him by myself this year cause I don't know when he's coming back, I don't even want him to come back and beg me, he destroyed all my dreams with his empty promises. Babes, I have peace ever since he left me, I regain myself and feel free to pursue my dreams. Adms, I'm scared I don't want to be married to him again, I don't love him as a husband anymore, I only know he is the father of my son. I don't know if God will be angry with me if I go for the divorce myself. The fact that I'm still waiting for him to come back and divorce the marriage is drawing me back. Please what do I do?
No comments:
Post a Comment