Saturday, 29 October 2016
On Average, Women Think About Fashion 91 Times A Day
Online retailer Very.co.uk did a study with 1,000 women in the U.K. between the ages of 18-25 about how often they think about fashion, what they think about, and how frequently they do it…and discovered that we ladies have fashion on the brain approximately 91 times a day. Says Very.co.uk's Style Director, Rebecca Elderfield, "For many young women, fashion is so much more than a casual hobby or mild interest —
This Is How Women Really Feel About Their Clothes
This Is How Women Really Feel About Their Clothes
Why do we need a book about clothes? Writer Sheila Heti has a simple answer: “You can’t get around it. You have to get dressed in the morning.”
She’s right. Maybe you don’t consider yourself stylish, or you don’t care at all about fashion; maybe you’re obsessed with clothes, or you think of every piece of clothing as a time machine. Regardless, everyone has some kind of relationship with what they wear every day.
She’s right. Maybe you don’t consider yourself stylish, or you don’t care at all about fashion; maybe you’re obsessed with clothes, or you think of every piece of clothing as a time machine. Regardless, everyone has some kind of relationship with what they wear every day.
“I was literally looking for a book about how women think about their clothes, how they shop, how they dress, how they choose things,” Heti says. “But there wasn’t any book like that.” So she wrote a list of her questions and sent them to one friend — novelist Heidi Julavits — who sent them to another — illustrator Leanne Shapton — and together the three embarked on a grassroots exploration. First, they enlisted strangers by passing out business cards that said "I like how you dress" with a link to an online survey; then they passed the questionnaire on to friends and fellow journalists. Eventually, the 83-question survey they developed and shared online grew into Women in Clothes, a collection of essays, impressions, and illustrations from women both well-known and not. There’s a little bit of everything, but that’s deliberate — they wanted the book to have “the tone of an art project and this curious, spaghetti-on-the-wall feel,” Shapton explains.
The Cut talked to all three editors about clothes, feminism, and avoiding fashion-speak.
The Cut talked to all three editors about clothes, feminism, and avoiding fashion-speak.
Thursday, 20 October 2016
How to Develop a Healthy Attitude About Singlehood and Love
How to Develop a Healthy Attitude About Singlehood and Love
This brings me to several important questions: Do you tend to focus on not having love in your life now instead of your commitment to forming a loving relationship? Do you believe that because you are single now, you will always be? Do you feel torn between giving up on love and investing time and energy into dating?
If you answered yes to any or all of the above questions, you may be acting in ways that keep you single.
There is more to life than your relationship status, so it is important for your well-being and happiness to change the way you look at singlehood. You can diminish any negativity you feel about being single by changing your perception of singlehood and what is represents. It does not mean that you are undesirable, flawed, “bad” at relationships or anything distressing that your mind makes up. Although being single may feel lonely or painful sometimes, it is a valuable time to grow as a person. You can focus on taking care of your needs, embracing your hobbies and enjoying life while remembering that a great partner will be a wonderful addition to your life, but by no means a necessity. Do away with the negative lens by affirming for yourself how great it is to have your independence and how much healthier it is to be single than in a dissatisfying relationship.
There are other empowering ways to change the way you look at your life to create the reality you want and make this powerful shift in your love life. Below are a few strategies to help you develop a healthier, more positive mindset about singlehood, love, dating and relationships.
Why so serious? Four thoughts that stifle laughter
Why so serious? Four thoughts that stifle laughter
If you can’t remember, you may be in what author Ted Cunningham calls “the grind,” which is when a couple feels stuck in the routine of life. But routine needn’t mean an absence of fun.
“There’s a vacuum of laughter in our homes today,” Cunningham explains to Jim Daly in a radio broadcast on how important it is to have fun in your marriage. He goes on to say that it’s not about sitting on the couch and watching a funny movie together, but rather it’s the “ability to pause, not take yourself too seriously, be able to laugh at yourself a little bit, be able to cut loose – and this can take minutes a day.”
If you think you’re stuck in the grind and you’re feeling like there isn’t a way to get past the drudgery of chores, bills and predictable schedules, then you need what Cunningham calls “a paradigm shift in our thinking.” He and his wife realized that the grind didn’t have to keep them from having a fun marriage. “Enjoying marriage and each other is possible in the midst of controversial issues, differences, pain, hard work, toddlers and a tight budget,” he writes in Fun Loving You, later adding, “Life is difficult, yes, but you can decide to find those moments and enjoy each other.”
After all, Daly points out, “that’s how it all started, isn’t it? Something attracted you to each other and I’m sure fun was a part of that in some way.” The biggest step to rediscovering the laughter in your home is recognizing what thoughts need to be shifted in order to fully live out Ecclesiastes 9:9: “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love.”
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- Written by Amy Van Veen
If you can’t remember, you may be in what author Ted Cunningham calls “the grind,” which is when a couple feels stuck in the routine of life. But routine needn’t mean an absence of fun.
“There’s a vacuum of laughter in our homes today,” Cunningham explains to Jim Daly in a radio broadcast on how important it is to have fun in your marriage. He goes on to say that it’s not about sitting on the couch and watching a funny movie together, but rather it’s the “ability to pause, not take yourself too seriously, be able to laugh at yourself a little bit, be able to cut loose – and this can take minutes a day.”
If you think you’re stuck in the grind and you’re feeling like there isn’t a way to get past the drudgery of chores, bills and predictable schedules, then you need what Cunningham calls “a paradigm shift in our thinking.” He and his wife realized that the grind didn’t have to keep them from having a fun marriage. “Enjoying marriage and each other is possible in the midst of controversial issues, differences, pain, hard work, toddlers and a tight budget,” he writes in Fun Loving You, later adding, “Life is difficult, yes, but you can decide to find those moments and enjoy each other.”
After all, Daly points out, “that’s how it all started, isn’t it? Something attracted you to each other and I’m sure fun was a part of that in some way.” The biggest step to rediscovering the laughter in your home is recognizing what thoughts need to be shifted in order to fully live out Ecclesiastes 9:9: “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love.”
Singlehood is a gift, too. Your future doesn’t begin once you find a “significant other”. It’s happening now.
Singlehood is a gift, too. Your future doesn’t begin once you find a “significant other”. It’s happening now.
It’s that season that some call Valentine’s Day and as such, it may be an occasion of celebration or an occasion of some anxiety. Or maybe neither. Maybe it’s just another day.
Or maybe it’s somewhere in between…and so, I thought I’d shared some unsolicited advice about singlehood, marriage, and the in-between.
I ain’t no expert on anything but over the years of being single, being married, and being a pastor to both single folk and married folk, here’s some advice for those who are single – whether dating, engaged, interested in marriage, or not interested in any relationship.
Our ultimate identity.
Our ultimate identity is not as single people or married people. No dating status defines us. No person can complete us. No human relationship defines us. Saying or believing anything else is dangerous, unhealthy, unrealistic, and borderline idolatrous.That _____ relationship is not the answer to your life.
Marriage is not the cure-all to the longings of your heart.
How do I know? Because I’m married…and it’s not the answer. I’m not dissing my wife. I love her…dearly. And my wife is a marriage therapist in Seattle and she’ll tell you emphatically that I am not the answer to her deepest longings. Darn. To say that a relationship, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a husband, or a wife, is going to be the answer to our lives and our deepest longings is simply just not fair to that person. And unrealistic and unhealthy for you.
God’s grand purpose for our lives … umm … is not for us to get hitched and married. Nor is it to be single and sexy. God’s purpose for our lives is that we be conformed to the likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ. God’s purpose is that our ultimate identity and mission are formed as daughters and sons of God…
MARRIAGE TIPS FOR TODAY
COMMUNICATION
Speak for yourself
Take a cue from Gary Chapman, and learn how to speak for yourself. Instead of using accusatory “you” statements when talking to your spouse, use “I” statements to help them understand your point of view and to keep you from pointing your finger.
Listen to what's being said
Relationship conflict often arises from simple misunderstandings. Ask for clarification rather than making assumptions. Try saying, “I heard you say this. Is that what you meant?”
Yell less, walk more
Want to tell your spouse something, but they're in the other room? Shouting loud enough for them to hear you isn't the answer. Instead of lazily yelling to your husband or wife, walk to the room they're in so you can speak calmly and quietly. Bonus: you'll get some exercise and maybe a quick kiss from your sweetie, too!
Timing tough talksCollecting thoughts in a conversation jar frees you from the anxiety of timing challenging chats. As you think of a concern, write a few topic keywords on a strip of paper and put it in a jar. Set aside time every week to pull out one issue from the jar for a focused discussion with your spouse.
Speak for yourself
Take a cue from Gary Chapman, and learn how to speak for yourself. Instead of using accusatory “you” statements when talking to your spouse, use “I” statements to help them understand your point of view and to keep you from pointing your finger.
Listen to what's being said
Relationship conflict often arises from simple misunderstandings. Ask for clarification rather than making assumptions. Try saying, “I heard you say this. Is that what you meant?”Yell less, walk more
Want to tell your spouse something, but they're in the other room? Shouting loud enough for them to hear you isn't the answer. Instead of lazily yelling to your husband or wife, walk to the room they're in so you can speak calmly and quietly. Bonus: you'll get some exercise and maybe a quick kiss from your sweetie, too!
Timing tough talksCollecting thoughts in a conversation jar frees you from the anxiety of timing challenging chats. As you think of a concern, write a few topic keywords on a strip of paper and put it in a jar. Set aside time every week to pull out one issue from the jar for a focused discussion with your spouse.
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