1. To give it the fuel it needs, not just because society tells her she needs to shovel down greens that have the texture of sadness to stay trendy or thin, but because all those nutrients help her body regenerate and grow from the inside out.
2. But also, to have something delicious because she can — and not berate herself, justify her choices, or even call it “an indulgence” afterward. Dessert, donuts, and that extra-fatty cut of steak are nothing more than delicious. That is all they need to be.
3. To not be afraid of cellulite. Almost everyone has some, and it shouldn’t be feared like the second coming of Freddy Kreuger.
4. To only wear clothes that don’t just flatter her body in any societal definitions of what “flattering” means, but make her feel like her true self is being expressed as she wants to express it.
5. To stop defining her body as a type. Your body is not a piece of fruit, nor is it a geometric shape. It is a body. That is the type of body it is. Define it as the nearly-perfect, self-sustaining creation it is.
6. To ask for what she wants in bed — anything from a condom, to how she wants someone to touch her, to saying “no, actually, not tonight” — and choose to be with the kind of people with whom those desires will be respected.
7. To remember that anyone who sees her body naked is lucky, and she is not to beat herself up mentally, either in that moment or later. I can almost guarantee you that the person who deserves to see your naked form (let alone touch it or get close to it) does not care about that one freckle or those five-or-so pounds that only seem insurmountably obvious to you.
8. To try to navigate the fine line that is being happy with the way she looks, but not feeling guilty if she doesn’t want to be complacent. It seems contradictory, I know, but with so much focus on finding beauty in everyone (which is great) it’s important to not take it as a free pass to be unhealthy. It’s not about a certain size or having certain curves or leading a certain lifestyle, it’s about doing what’s right for your body and taking care of it.
9. To move it in the way she wants to – not because her best friend bullies her into a certain class or workout, or because she feels the need to punish herself for something she ate (she doesn’t) but because it helps clear her mind, wakes her up, helps her let go of stress, or she just likes doing it. (Ideally, it’s all of these things and more.)
10. To dance — which might also be the way she wants to move it – but also because she hears music, and doesn’t care about dancing badly or being off rhythm. That she dances in her underwear in the morning if she wants to, that she dances to the one song nobody else wants to admit they like, that she is the first one on the dance floor, that she dances in the rain and when there’s no music at all, but that’s the only way she can express herself in that one moment.
11. To wear heels if she wants to wear heels. To wear flats if she wants to wear flats. To wear sneakers or sandals or wedges or $10 shoes or $700 shoes if she feels so inclined, and to stop justifying what or why she’s putting such and such a thing on her foot.
12. To jump off cliffs into the ocean water below, to pose for the leaping photos in fields, to cartwheel in the park – even (and maybe even especially) if it’s a bad cartwheel — to skip down the sidewalk if she wants to, no matter who is looking. You deserve to express your joy, and your body is often the best tool with which you can.
13. To use her arms to give as many hugs — good, real, genuine hugs — as she can and wants to.
14. To raise her hand whenever she has a thought she believes wholeheartedly in and wants to express.
15. To keep routine doctor’s appointments, and to find a doctor whom she trusts, but who also respects that she has the right to seek a second opinion just